| Failure is the
catalyst that allows many people to make positive changes in their
lives, and that allows people to move on to something bigger and
better. Failure pushes many people just a little bit closer to
inevitable success, for in failure, they learn what won't work, or what
more needs to be done. Thomas Edison is widely quoted as having
said that he didn't fail at all when he tried thousands of ways to make
a light bulb, none of them working--he just learned thousands of ways
that didn't work, and with each "failure," he could eliminate
another possible method for accomplishing his goal.
Unfortunately,
though, many people allow failure to stigmatize them, to prevent them from
trying any more, to cause them to give up hope of ever doing anything
"right." They find it impossible to move on, to try any
other risk, to try anything new. Their fear of failure keeps them
from adding anything new to their lives, and possibly worst of all, keeps
them from feeling the thrill and satisfaction of accomplishment when
they've done something new very well. Their fears prevent them from
meeting new people, from going new places, from trying new things, and
from creating new spaces in their lives. They fall into a rut that's
defined by fear.
I don't feel
there's necessarily anything wrong with many ruts. I'm in a few
myself, and they're very pleasant. But they're also ruts in which I continue to learn and explore and expand and change.
(Many would
argue that if that's the case, they're not ruts at all, but I don't see
the term "rut" as being necessarily negative.) They aren't
ruts that are created by my fear of taking chances or doing new
things. If that ever becomes the case, I'll have to make some
drastic changes and get out of them. The important thing for me
always to be aware of is whether or not a current rut is caused by a past
failure--do I avoid trying this new project because I tried it once before
and failed? Do I not try to meet this person because I failed in a
relationship with just such a person at some time in my past? If my
failures are defining my life, then I'm in trouble.
I've failed a
lot, at many different endeavors. I've come in last place in many
things. I've been passed over for promotions, I've lost boards in
the army, I've not been hired for the jobs I've applied for. But
each time I've been fortunate enough not to allow that failure to keep me
from trying. When I lost a board, I came back the next month and won
the next one. When I haven't been hired, I've gone elsewhere and
applied. When I was turned down by a slew of PhD. programs, I moved
to a place I wanted to live and started to work. I've been very
blessed, because there's something in my genetic code that gives me the
ability to shake off failure--I don't even regard it as failure any
more--and move on. But not all people are so fortunate.
How many people
do you know who fail in a relationship and then won't have anything to do
with anyone afterwards? Or who fail in a tournament and who won't do
that sport or activity any more? I suppose one of the most dangerous
aspects of that type of behavior is the possibility that such a person is
not acting out of fear of failing again, but out of fear of how people
will regard them for having failed.
I've got bad
news: You're going to fail at many things in your life. But I have good news, too:
You're going to fail at many things in
life. Failure is how you learn, how you grow, how you transform
yourself into a new person, into a wonderful reflection of the beautiful
creation you are. If you don't allow yourself to grow and to learn
from your failures, you're doing a great disservice to yourself and to
those people who surround you who deserve to have you be the wonderful
person you have the capability to become. Look at the failures and
shortcomings in your life as refinement, as you move on and become a
beautiful example of what a human being can be.
And
remember--failure is not the absence of success; failure is a step towards
success. From livinglifefully.com. |
