on forgiveness. It definitely
works reciprocally. When I am able to forgive
myself--which is not always easy--I am kinder
to everyone. Including myself.
Pardon one another so that later
on you will not
remember the injury. The recollection of an injury is in itself wrong.
to our anger,
nurtures our sin, and hates
what is good.
It is a rusty
arrow and poison for the soul.
-Francis of Paola
|The Toltec tradition tells us that we surrender a
portion of our life force
when we dwell on any unhealed wounding event from our past. The
unprocessed emotions surrounding these events burden us and weigh
heavily on our hearts. They must be dealt with if we want access
of our vitality. Ultimately, what we will find is that
is the key to reclaiming all the life force locked in past hurt.
Today I forgive all those who have
ever offended me. I give my love to all thirsty hearts,
both to those who love me and those who do not love me.
Forgiveness means letting go of a hurtful
and moving on with your own happiness.
|Let us be merciful in
our mental judgments of our brothers and sisters,
for, in truth, we
are all one, and the more deeply they seem to err,
more urgent is the need for us to help them with the right
and so make it easier for them to get free.
think so many of us are too hard on ourselves for what
didn’t accomplish or what we should have done. The first step is to forgive yourself for all the
things you didn’t do that you should have and all the things
that you did do that
you shouldn’t have.
Get rid of the guilt.
don’t do you much good.
The way to deal with them is
to forgive yourself and
forgive others. . . .
helps you come to terms with the past. I've learned how
to forgive myself, and this has helped me
no longer feel deep
regrets or sadness about my past.
|We don't have
choices about who our parents are and how they treated us,
but we have
a choice about whether we forgive our parents and heal ourselves.
you haven't forgiven yourself
something, how can you forgive
is the key
promising reconciliations have broken down
both parties came prepared to forgive,
neither party came
prepared to be forgiven. -Charles William
|There's no point in
burying a hatchet
if you're going to put up a marker on
the site. -Sydney Harris
that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must
be saved by hope.
Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete
sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved
by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore
saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our
or foe as it is from our standpoint.
Therefore we must be saved by
the final form of love which is forgiveness.
are they who cannot
forgive themselves. -Publilius Syrus
baby girl, feeling his attention shift away from her, reached
forward and grabbed his nose. Gently he freed himself
and continued the sermon. After a few minutes, she took
his tie and put it in her mouth. The entire congregation
chuckled. The rabbi rescued his tie and smiled at his
child. She put her tiny arms around his neck.
Looking at us over the top of her head, he said, "Think
about it. Is there anything she can do that you could
not forgive her for?" Throughout the room people
began to nod in recognition, thinking perhaps of their own
children and grandchildren. Just then, she reached up
and grabbed his eyeglasses. Everyone laughed out loud.
his eyeglasses and settling them on his nose, the rabbi
laughed as well. Still smiling, he waited for
silence. When it came, he asked, "And when does
that stop? When does it get hard to forgive? At
three? At seven? At fourteen? At
thirty-five? How old does someone have to be before you
forget that everyone is a child of God?"
God's forgiveness was something easily understandable to me,
but personally I found forgiveness difficult. I had
thought of it as a lowering of standards rather than a family
God heals through forgiveness and
asks that we do likewise. Attack is an easier response
than forgiveness, and that is why we are so tempted to
give into it. Throughout our lives we have seen more
anger than examples of true forgiveness. Forgiveness
does not mean that we suppress anger; forgiveness means
that we have asked for a miracle: the ability to
see through mistakes that someone has made
to the truth
that lies in all of our hearts. . . .Forgiveness is not
always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the
wound we suffered, to forgive the one
that inflicted it.
And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. Attack
thoughts towards others are attack thoughts towards
ourselves. The first step
in forgiveness is the
willingness to forgive. -Marianne Williamson
quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place
it is twice blest;
It blesseth those that give,
and those that take.
Forgiveness is at the
heart of a healthy and happy life. Forgiveness protects
relationships. It also protects the person who does the
forgiving. Remember the story that psychiatrist and
author Robert Coles tells
about Ruby, the little girl who
integrated a Southern elementary school. Every day the
federal marshals had to escort Ruby through a mob
adults who spat at her and called her hateful names. Remarkably,
the five-year-old girl did not seem to be
emotionally damaged by the ordeal, a fact that puzzled
Cole until he discovered that Ruby prayed
asking God to forgive her persecutors . . . . Forgiveness
is a method for giving love. It is a way of saying,
"I am going to let go
of the wrong you did; I am not
going to be bitter and I am going
to go on loving you
is an act of endless
a tender look
which becomes a habit. -Peter Ustinov
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it with fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft, deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine.
And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.
is the perfume the trampled flower
casts back on the foot that crushed it.
The practice of forgiveness can play
an important role in your relationships
with others. Forgiveness will enable you to correct distortions in
and to improve the quality, intensity,
and meaningfulness of relationships. It means
of past resentments toward others so that you can
in the present. Even if you do not "feel"
like forgiving someone, forgiving them
will release you
from the hold of the past and allow you to experience the
in a new way. To forgive is to step outside the
vicious circle of interpretation,
where concepts from the
past dominate experience, and to begin to live in terms
of a larger, more worthy purpose. Forgiveness eliminates
and anxiety, weakness and vulnerability.
forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In
return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.
Forgiveness is not
an occasional act;
it is a permanent attitude.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Dost thou wish
receive mercy? Show mercy
to thy neighbor. -St.
Forgiveness is the answer to the child's
dream of a miracle
by which what is broken is made whole
what is soiled is again made clean.
Love truth, but pardon error.
To err is human, to
Forgiveness enables you to bury your grudge in the icy
put the past behind you.
You flush resentment away by being
the first to forgive.
Forgiveness fashions your future.
It is a brave
and brash thing to do.
The gutsiest decision you can make.
forgive others, winter will soon make way for springtime as fresh joy
pushes up through the soil of your heart.
Forgiveness is a stunning principal, your ticket out of hate
I know what regret feels like; I’ve earned my credentials.
But I also know what forgiveness feels like, because God has
so graciously forgiven me.
Forgiveness frees you of the past so
you can make good choices today. -Barbara Johnson
Be assured that if you knew all, you would pardon
all. -Thomas a Kempis
believe that the most important thing to consider when thinking about forgiveness is the effect that
it has on ourselves. Forgiveness isn't always about the person being forgiven; often, that person will
have asked forgiveness and will be very grateful when we do forgive, but probably more often we
need to forgive for our own sakes. I've carried around anger and resentment for a while, and I've
done so quite often. But the thing that always took it away was the realization--usually later rather than
sooner--that my anger wasn't affecting the object of my anger at all, but it was affecting me a great
deal, in a very negative way. I wasn't sleeping as I could have been, I wasn't able to focus on the task
at hand as well as I could have, I wasn't able to relate to other people effectively.
I have to admit, I still get
angry and I don't always forgive as I should, but I try--I don't want that negative baggage to carry around
with me. I want my view of the world to be a view filled with wonder and awe, and carrying a grudge
taints that view; I'm the one who suffers from my own inability to forgive--just as I'm the only one
who can save myself from that suffering by putting things behind me where they belong.
there is forgiveness,
there is God himself. -from
the Adi Granth
(sacred Sikh text)
|To understand is not
only to pardon,
but in the end to love. -Walter Lippmann
process of making sense of our wounds is a very personal
one. But a common
theme in wound healing is the
universal need to forgive. If we don't forgive
for our mistakes, and others for the wounds
they have inflicted upon us, we end up
guilt. And the soul
cannot grow under a blanket of
guilt, because guilt
while growth is a
gradual process of reconnection to our selves,
people, and to a larger whole.
|If we can forgive everyone, regardless of
what he or she may have done,
we nourish the soul and
allow our whole being to feel good.
To hold a
grudge against anyone is like carrying the devil on your
It is our willingness to forgive and
forget that casts away such a burden
and brings light
into our hearts, freeing us from many ill feelings
against our fellow human beings. -Sydney Banks
|The weak can never forgive.
is the attribute of the strong.
|It is very easy to
forgive others their mistakes;
it takes more grit
gumption to forgive them
for having witnessed your own.
feel betrayed by someone,
of sulking, clinging to
and playing the
role of victim, I am
strengthen my soul through
By forgiving the person who
my soul. . . . each
we are called upon
to forgive, we
nourish our souls and learn more about
who we are and what we have to
in this world. This is also an
example of unconditional love.
|Holding on to anger is like
grasping a hot coal
with the intent of
throwing it at
someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
the number one offender. It destroys more
than anything else. From it stem all
forms of spiritual disease, for
we have been not
only mentally and physically ill,
we have been
spiritually sick. -Alcoholics
|To be angry about trifles is mean and childish;
to rage and be furious
and to maintain
perpetual wrath is akin to the practice
and temper of
but to prevent and suppress rising
resentment is wise and glorious,
is manly and divine. -Isaac Watts
is an act of love. As I forgive, I release negative energy that
may manifest as resentment or anger. I open the way for something
to happen. If I feel wronged or annoyed, I release the impulse to
lines of communication remain open, and understanding flows
with family, friends and colleagues flourish when I act with compassion
easily forgive. I relate to others in harmonious ways. I
exercise the same
forgiving attitude toward myself. If I have erred, I learn from it
and move on.
I draw from the reservoir of God's love within me to give and receive
(the Daily Word)
an individual can accept and forgive him or herself, even a
is the moment in which he or she becomes to some degree
lovable. -Eugene Kennedy
that cannot forgive
others break the bridge
over which they must pass themselves;
for every person has need to be forgiven.
come from a background in which anger and resentment were
rather normal. It wasn't that the people in my life
liked being angry and resentful--they just hadn't learned
how to deal with their feelings in other ways. Because
of this background, though, it took me many years during
my young adulthood to unlearn this pattern, to realize
that such thoughts were not only negative, but also
One of the most important accomplishments in
my life has been to learn how to forgive. I don't
always do so quickly enough to save myself a few
miserable days, but I have learned to view people's
actions in a much more objective light, taking them much
less personally. Usually I see behavior that
affects me negatively as a reflection of bad things that
are going on in other people's lives, and this helps me
to forgive much more easily. Did that guy cut me
off in traffic? Maybe he's in a hurry because
someone's sick. Did that person talk about me
behind my back? Well, maybe she's feeling insecure
about herself, and she has to knock someone down to make
herself feel better. Her words don't change who I am.
able to see things this way has almost no effect at all on the other
people involved in any situation, but it does have a strong effect on
me: I'm able to feel more peaceful, more relaxed, and more able
to help others. I feel that things are okay apart from this one
small aspect of my life, and my forgiveness helps me to realize the
relative insignificance of this aspect. I'm not here on this
planet to control other people and have them ask for forgiveness when
I feel they should do so--the only person's actions and thoughts over
which I have any sort of control are my own, and I can forgive if I choose to do so, knowing that doing so helps me.
There's a common misconception that
forgiving someone implies that the action that's being
forgiven was okay, but I always keep in mind that I'm
forgiving the person, not the action. Hurting other
people is always wrong, but we all make mistakes and hurt
others. I'm very thankful that some people in life
have forgiven me for some of my actions, so why shouldn't
i show the same courtesy to others? Forgiving doesn't
make wrong right or take away responsibility-- forgiveness
just says it's not up to me to judge, and I'm not going
to hold a grudge against you just because you made a
|I can have peace of mind only when
rather than judge.
can forgive, but I cannot forget" is only another
way of saying,
"I will not forgive."
Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note--
torn in two
and burned up so that it never can be shown against
one. -Henry Ward Beecher
those who hurt us is
the key to personal peace. -G. Weatherly
score of old scores and scars, getting even
and one-upping, always make you less than you
are. -Malcolm Forbes
more than words. Words are meaningless unless they are
consistent with life actions. You may say you have
forgiven someone, but if
you avoid them, grow angry when
you are with them, or allow chaos to be part of your
relationship, forgiveness is not in your heart. People
in attitudes and responses. Through your
actions, you can tell others you have accepted God's love
and forgiven the hurts of your
life. -Elizabeth B. Brown
importance of forgiveness may not be obvious at first sight, but
you may be sure
that it is not by chance that every great spiritual
teacher from Jesus Christ downward
has insisted so strongly upon it.
You must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter
but in your heart -- and that is the long and the short of it.
You do this, not for
the other person's sake, but for your own sake.
Resentment, condemnation, anger, desire
to see someone punished are
things that rot your soul. Such things fasten your troubles
you with rivets. They fetter you to many other problems
that actually have nothing
to do with the original grievances
|Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart
and cools the sting. -William Arthur Ward
toward him. "Edward," she said softly. It was
the first time she had called him by name. "Learn this from me.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think
hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us.
But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to
"Forgive, Edward. Forgive. Do
you remember the lightness
you felt when you first arrived in heaven?"
Eddie did. Where is my pain?
"That's because no one is born with anger.
And when we die,
the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must
understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel
She touched his hand.
"You need to forgive your father."
from The Five People You Meet in Heaven
process of forgiveness—indeed, the chief reason for forgiveness—is
The reason to forgive others is not for their sake.
They are not likely to know
that they need to be forgiven. They’re
not likely to remember their offense.
They are likely to say, “You just made it up.”
They may even be dead. The
to forgive is for our own sake. For
our own health. Because
beyond that point needed
for healing, if we hold on to our anger, we stop growing and our souls
begin to shrivel. -M.
we are harder on ourselves than others are. If we cannot
forgive ourselves, how can we forgive other people? Everyone's
to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, even those things we feel ashamed
about, and learn to accept ourselves for who we are, knowing that
we can always gently work on making improvements. For me,
the true experience of inner peace began only once I was able
to forgive those around me, my parents, and
|Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them
so much. -Oscar Wilde
|Know that compassion
for others begins with being able
to accept and forgive yourself. As long as you judge
others for their imperfections, you will never be able
to truly accept and love yourself.
friends were walking through the desert. During some point
of the journey they had an argument and one friend slapped the
other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything,
wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend slapped me in the
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they
decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got
stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
"Today my best friend saved my life."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,
"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write
on a stone. Why?"
The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should
write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it
away. But when someone does something good for us, we must
engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
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