Quotes for
the Journey:

Helpfulness



Down in their hearts, wise people
know this truth:  the only way to
help yourself is to help others.

Elbert Hubbard

   
You have not lived a perfect day, even though you have earned your money,  unless you have done something for someone who will never be able to repay you.       -Ruth Smeltzer
   

The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he or she needs it, whether one's got an abscess on one's knee, or in one's soul.      -Rona Barrett

   
The ego is often deeply involved in the desire to help others.  If you do not want your ego to be involved in this way, do not be available for others unless you really want to be available.  Do not feel that you should be available.  Don't sacrifice yourself in any way.  Don't go against your true feelings.  Don't carry the cross for anyone else.  Make sure that there's no sense that helping others makes you a better person or that it will gain you easy access into Heaven.  Don't be a martyr.       -Leonard Jacobson
   

By helping yourself, you are helping humankind.  By helping humankind, you are helping yourself.  That's the law of all spiritual progress.       -Christopher Isherwood

   

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that you cannot sincerely try to help another without helping yourself.       -Ralph Waldo Emerson

    
The greatest happiness in the world is to make others happy.       -Luther Burbank

When one has reverence for life, one will never do anything to harm, hinder, or destroy life.  Instead one bends every effort to help life to fulfill its highest destiny. One strives to maintain, enhance, and assist life to make the most of itself.        -Wilferd A. Peterson
   

In my career, I have learned that giving of your services for free gives you a good return on your investment, not just financially but morally.  It supplements my personal integrity.       -Stevie Wonder

   
A helping word to one in trouble is often like a switch on a railroad track . . . an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity.       -Henry Ward Beecher
   
The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, brooding, is to go deliberately forth and try to lift with one's sympathy the gloom of somebody else.        -Arnold Bennett
   

When I pray, I never pray for myself, always for others, or else I hold a silly, naive, or deadly serious dialogue with what is deepest inside me, which for the sake of convenience I call God. Praying to God for something for yourself strikes me as being too childish for words. To pray for another's well-being is something I find childish as well; one should only pray that another should have enough strength to shoulder his burden.  If you do that, you lend him some of your own strength.       -Etty Hillesum

   
They might not need me; but they might.
I'll let my head be just in sight;
A smile as small as mine might be
Precisely their necessity.

-Emily Dickinson
  
The greatest comfort of my old age, and that which gives me the highest satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance of the many benefits and friendly offices I have done to others.        -Cato
     
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the people who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread.  They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a person but one thing:  the last of the human freedoms--to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.       -Viktor Frankl
    

You will find, as you look back upon your life, that the moments that stand out are the moments when you have done things for others.       -Henry Drummond

    

As to the kindness you mention, I wish I could have been of more service to you than I have been, but if I had, the only thanks that I should desire are that you would always be ready to serve any other person that may need your assistance, and so let good offices go around, for humankind are all of a family. As for my own part, when I am employed in serving others I do not look upon myself as conferring favors but paying debts.        -Benjamin Franklin

    

No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.       -Charles Dickens

   

ong-range studies imply that doing something with other people, especially something for them, is the most powerful of all stimuli to longevity and health.       -Jon Poppy

   

Most arts require long study and application; but the most useful of all, that of pleasing, only the desire.       -Lord Chesterfield

     

Open your eyes and look for a human being, or some work devoted to human welfare, which needs from someone a little time or friendliness, a little sympathy, or sociability, or labor.  There may be a solitary or an embittered fellowman, an invalid, or an inefficient person to whom you can be something. Perhaps it is an old person or a child.  Or some good work needs volunteers who can offer a free evening, or run errands.  Who can enumerate the many ways in which that costly piece of working capital, a human being, can be employed?  More of him is wanted everywhere!  Search, then, for some investment for your humanity, and do not be frightened away if you have to wait, or to be taken on trial.  And be prepared for disappointments.  But in any case, do not be without some secondary work in which you can give yourself as a human to other humans.  It is marked out for you, if you only truly will to have it.        -Albert Schweitzer

    

The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.        -Albert Schweitzer

   

Die when I may, I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.        -Abraham Lincoln

    

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other people, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.       -Albert Einstein

    

Let us make one point. . . that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. . . . Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family.        -Mother Teresa

    

Helping others, that's the main thing.  The only way for us to help ourselves is to help others and to listen to each other's stories.        -Eli Wiesel

   

We not only need to be willing to give, but also to be open to receiving from others.        -On Hope

   

To feel sorry for the needy is not the mark of a Christian--to help them is.       -Frank A. Clark

    
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.        -Erin Majors
   
The human being who lives only for him or herself finally reaps nothing but unhappiness.  Selfishness corrodes. Unselfishness ennobles, satisfies.  Don't put off the joy derivable from doing helpful, kindly things for others.        -B.C. Forbes
   
People who won't help others in trouble "because they got into trouble through their own fault" would probably not throw a lifeline to a drowning person until they learned whether that person fell in through his or her own fault or not.        - Sydney J. Harris
   
If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him or her by asking if there is anything you can do.  Think up something appropriate and do it.        -Edgar Watson Howe
   

   
Time and money spent in helping people to do more for themselves is far better than mere giving.        -Henry  Ford
   
Often we can help each other most by leaving each other alone; at other times we need the hand-grasp and the word of cheer.        -Elbert Hubbard
   
The race of humankind would perish did they cease to aid each other.  We cannot exist without mutual help.  All therefore that need aid have a right to ask it from their fellow humans; and no one who has the power of granting can refuse it without guilt.        -Walter Scott
   
I know some good marriages--marriages where both people are just trying to get through their days by helping each other, being good to each other.        -Erica Jong
   
The truest help we can render afflicted people is not to take their burdens from them, but to call out their best energy, that they may be able to bear the burden.        -Phillips Brooks
   
Even if it's a little thing, do something for those who have need of help, something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it.        -Albert Schweitzer
   
The service we render others is the rent we pay for our room on earth.        -Wilfred Grenfell
   
In the time we have it is surely our duty to do all the good we can to all the people we can in all the ways we can.        -William Barclay
   
Whoever in trouble and sorrow needs your help, give it to them.  Whoever in anxiety or fear needs your friendship, give it to them.  It isn't important whether they like you.  It isn't important whether you approve of their conduct.  It isn't important what their creed or nationality may be.        -E.N. West
   
To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand head-bowings in prayer.       -Sa'Di
   
   
Our worth is determined by the good deeds we do, rather than by the fine emotions we feel.        -Elias L. Magoon
   
What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?        -George Eliot
   
In this world we must help one another.        -Jean de la Fontaine
   
Studies of volunteers have shown there is a benefit to performing acts of love for other people. The irony is that it is actually in your best interest to be selfless. The things you do for the benefit of others not only make you feel fulfilled, they increase your chances of living a long and happy life.  Remember that an act of love always benefits at least two people.       -Bernie Siegel
   
If we could all hear one another's prayers, God might be relieved of some of his burden.        -Ashleigh Brilliant
   
We live very close together.  So, our prime purpose in this life is to help others.  And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.        -Dalai Lama
   
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. . . As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands.  One is for helping yourself, the other for helping others.        -Audrey Hepburn
   
In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.        -Flora Edwards
   
To complain that life has no joys while there is a single person whom we can relieve by our bounty, assist by our counsels or enliven by our presence, is to lament the loss of that which we possess, and is just as rational as to die of thirst with the cup in our hands.        -Thomas Fitzosborne
   
I've been the person who got into trouble on my own, through my own mistakes, and believe me, some help would have been appreciated at those times.  But I also know that it's very important to learn how to deal with adversity on our own, without someone else bailing us out whenever we get into trouble, so therein lies an interesting dilemma--how do we decide when our help is necessary and when our help is damaging?  Are we going to let someone else founder and lose their faith in people, or are we going to become enablers by pulling them out of their own mess?       -tom walsh
   
As Aunt Naomi was listing all the things she was going to do to help this person, her friend stopped her in mid-sentence.  "Naomi, girl," she said, "you need to resign as general manager of the universe.  You need to learn that sometimes the best way to help a person is to let them help themselves.  Otherwise, they never learn how.  And they are always going to make their problems your problems."        -Patti LaBelle
   
Don't ask yourself what the world needs.  Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.       -Howard Thurman
   
How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.       -Anne Frank
   
It is because one antelope will blow the dust from the other's eye that two antelopes walk together.        -West African Proverb
   

   
It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no person can sincerely try to help another without helping him or herself.        -Ralph Waldo Emerson
   
If you help others you will be helped, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps in one hundred years, but you will be helped.        -George Gurdjieff
   

On his early morning walk along the shore, an old man noticed a young woman picking up starfish and tossing them into the ocean.  As they passed each other, the old man said, "Pardon me, but why are you picking up all those starfish?"  The young woman answered, "Because if I leave them stranded, they'll die in the hot sun."

"But," the old man said, "this beach is miles long and there must be millions of starfish on it.  No matter how many you help, how can it make any difference?"

The young woman looked down at the starfish in her hands, threw it into the sea, and said:  "It makes a difference to this one."

Contemporary spiritual story

   
Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.       -Sally Koch
   
If you really want to help, then help others to be more present.  Help others to free themselves from the past.  Help others to take responsibility for themselves.  Help them to see how they are creating their own suffering.  Every now and then, you will encounter innocent ones who are suffering through no fault of their own, particularly animals and children.  Do not hesitate!  Help them.       -Leonard Jacobson
    
I can't think of a nicer feeling in my life than that I get from having helped someone else.  There's a great deal of satisfaction involved in having given someone a hand when he or she has needed it.  One of the interesting dynamics about helping that I've discovered is that in helping others, I'm helping myself just as much as, if not more than, I'm helping the other person, for I leave the situation feeling good about myself, about my actions, and about the person I've helped.

That's not to say, of course, that I think we should help people just to make ourselves feel better.  That would be ridiculous, and having self-interest as your major motivation would undermine the helpfulness, taking away the sincerity and the joy of helping.  In fact, helping someone else just to help yourself may even take away the feeling of satisfaction.  But this feeling is very real, and sometimes when I'm asked to help, especially if helping someone else is inconvenient, I have to remind myself that yes, there is something in it for me, also.

But I also have to remind myself that it's my obligation to help others.  No, we aren't our brothers' keepers, but yes, we are our brothers' brothers and sisters.  We're all members of the human community, and if we're to become the people we need to become, we have to help others.  If we don't, then we'll watch people steadily shy away from asking for help, and the human community will grow more and more fragmented.  And then where will we be?  I can be selfish and deny help, or I can realize that that's what we're here for:  to help others make their ways through this process we call life, and thus make the world more pleasant for ourselves and our children.  People whom I've helped will be much more likely to help others, and to give to others, and thus I'm contributing to the well being of the world.

Of course, there will always be those who try to abuse help, who will try to get me to do things for them just because they want to shirk their own responsibilities or do something else that's more pleasant.  We have to develop a strong sense of discernment, for there will be times when the best help we can give is a firm "no."  We can't do everything for others, nor should we try.  That's damaging to us, and ironically enough, it's damaging to those we're trying to help.

As an instructor, for example, sometimes the best help I can give is to fail a paper that's handed in to me.  Many of my students have gone through high school receiving A's for average papers or C's for papers that should have failed, and their instructors haven't helped them out a bit by being so "kind" to them--these students are now in college being given a heavy dose of reality in the form of a harsh kick in the pants.  This kick could have been avoided if their high school teachers had been a bit less "helpful," focusing more on the work at hand than the students' self-esteem or feelings about themselves.  When I get a paper that doesn't meet college standards, the student needs to know this, and I'm not helping by giving a dishonest grade.

People who work with alcoholics and other addictive problems talk often of "hard love," and the concept of helping people by letting them hit bottom.  The co-dependent is a person who allows the behavior to perpetuate itself by "helping" the alcoholic by avoiding conflict.  Which is better--helping someone to reach a point at which they'll change destructive behavior, or allowing them to continue that behavior?

Once again, though, we need discernment--when is hard love appropriate, and when will it be damaging?  There are no easy answers, but I know that since I've shifted my focus from self to helping others every realistic chance I get, I've found a great deal of fulfillment in my life, and I wouldn't trade the tendency of helping others for anything.  Help can be as simple as a compliment or carrying a bag of groceries, and it usually doesn't cost a thing, but we certainly don't see enough of it in the world.

tom walsh

   

    

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