| When I watch
pessimists in action, I'm amazed at just how little
potential and possibility they see in the
world. I'm saddened by just how little hope
they show that things will turn out well or
that other people will do good things for them and
for other people. When I'm with a pessimist
it's very draining for me--it takes an awful lot of
energy to maintain a positive perspective and to
continue to see that many, many good things are
happening in life all the time.
One
of the most important--and consistent--rules of life
is that life gives to us what we give to life.
Emerson said, "We find in life exactly what we
put into it." Many others have noticed
the same dynamic and have documented its truth very
well. If this is the case, then the pessimist
is involved in thoughts and behavior that almost
guarantees his or her misery. If I'm sure that
I'm not going to get a certain job, for example,
that's going to affect the way that I interview and
thus lower my chances of actually getting it.
If I think a person is going to hurt me, then I'll
subtly treat that person differently, and guess
what? That person is going to do something
(perhaps avoid me), thus "proving" that my
pessimism was justified! Of course, I won't
stop to think that my own actions that resulted from
my thoughts actually caused the reaction from the
other person.
We
usually pair the concept of pessimism with that of
optimism in order to compare them, as if they're two
opposites. Rather than seeing them as
"opposites," though, it may be helpful to
see them simply as two different ways of thinking,
just as walking and riding a bike are two different
ways of getting to a destination. The major
difference is the quality of the journey--the
optimist goes through life creating, filled with and
surrounded by positive energy, while the pessimist
tends to create negative energy that fills his or
her life and keeps the person focused on the
negative.
The
pessimist will argue that he or she isn't a
pessimist, but a "realist." After
all, many negative things happen in life, and this
person thinks that it's justified to focus on the
bad as a way of life, as a way to shape and form his
or her own perspective on life. Their version
of reality, though, includes only a very small
portion of what truly goes on in the world and
ignores all the positive things done every
day. Pessimists view the good in life as
exceptions rather than the norm, and by maintaining
this perspective, they guarantee that they will
continue to be pessimists.
Pessimists
remind me of people who do only enough research to
prove their own points, using only sources who will
support them. They can read a 200-page book on
the joys of life, and focus only on one sentence
that might say, "Yes, there are bad things in
life." This kind of research, though, is
universally condemned as invalid and self-serving,
and it's never accepted as valuable research in any
field.
If
you wish to create many negative experiences for
yourself in life, then by all means, adopt pessimism
as a way to look at the world. Be aware,
though, that your perspective will be anything but
realistic, and that many of the negative things that
happen will occur because your perspective actually
caused them. Nobody's saying that everyone
should be outgoing optimists, but it is true that an
optimistic outlook on life helps us to meet more
optimistic people and to encounter more positive
experiences-- and recognize them for what they are
when we do encounter them.
from livinglifefully.com
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